The holidays bring mixed emotions—joy for some, dread for others. Let’s explore ways to enjoy the season breaking bread, without breaking boundaries.
Identify YOUR boundaries
Boundaries are personal limits that protect your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They define how you interact with others and how you wish to be treated—not to control others, but to maintain respect and safety.
Try This:
Reflect on your values and how they shape your boundaries around physical space, privacy, time, finances, and relationships.
Write down your boundaries: what you expect, what demonstrates respect, and what crosses the line.
Communicate using “I” statements, e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when...” or “I feel disrespected when…”
Create an exit strategy
Prepare a game plan for potentially stressful events. Identify triggers, set time limits, and locate a retreat space, if needed.
Try This:
Inform hosts in advance of your availability, e.g., “I’ll stay for dinner but leave by 8 PM.”
Scout quiet spots for a quick breather.
Have a list of non-negotiables that signal when it’s time to leave.
Communicate and pivot
Not everyone will filter their comments. While you can’t control others, you can control your response. Communicate clearly and shift the focus when conversations become intrusive.
Try This:
Use phrases like:
“I’d rather not discuss that.”
“Let’s change the subject.”
“I need a moment to step away.”Respond thoughtfully, not reactively. Staying calm reinforces your boundaries.
Know your limits
Holiday obligations can lead to overcommitting or overspending. Respect your capacity to avoid burnout.
Try This:
Prioritize events and people that genuinely bring you joy. My personal motto is, “If it’s not a “hell yes,” it’s a no.”
Communicate financial boundaries clearly, e.g., “I’m unable to contribute financially but would love to find an alternative.”
See the good and be open-minded
Strained relationships can be challenging. While it doesn’t erase past hurt, empathy can help shift your perspective and foster understanding.
Try This:
Lead with curiosity by asking about someone’s experiences.
Reflect on your feelings and consider how different perspectives can coexist.
Overall, the holidays are an opportunity to celebrate and connect, but they don’t have to come at the cost of your well-being. By setting clear boundaries, prioritizing your needs, and approaching others with empathy, you can create a meaningful and enjoyable season that feels authentic and nourishing.
↳ Resources
Ready to start your wellness journey or transitioning to a new provider?
Check out these therapy directories below:
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
OpenPath Collective
Headway
Talkspace
Wishing everyone a happy, healthy holiday season. Until next time.
xo, Gaddy.